Updated: Jul 22, 2020
17 years ago, I was a young lady, who had reached a crossroad in my life. I never really felt like I quite fit in but did everything to try to be accepted by my peers. I ended up becoming a slave to fear and experienced failure after failure. I had the same friends, hung out in the same places, did the same things and ended up with the same end results and one day I had decided that enough was enough. I was tired of failing so I made the decision to change.
I decided to relocate from Brooklyn NY to Greenville, NC. The day that I was supposed to leave, I had packed everything I owned into three luggage bags. My vehicle was towed before I could get to Grand Central Station to get on the Greyhound Bus. I was able to get a friend to drive me to the bus terminal and as I lugged my heavy luggage, I made it just in time to watch my bus pull away without me in it. See, I had spent my last money on that bus ticket and I truly didn't know what to do. I dropped my bags, plopped down on my bags and broke down and cried. At that moment, I felt hopeless, alone and desolate.
This was a critical moment of my life (one of many). I was trying to move ahead to a new life and my way to it had left me behind. I contemplated on going back to my old life but i didn't want to. My old life was me being homeless, hustling, and living a life of emptiness. I wanted a fresh start, a new beginning, a different lifestyle! I began to look at my situation as dismal and I started to accept defeat. I thought I was out of luck, I started to see myself as being homeless, living in the streets, pushing a cart with all of my belongings with no destination, wandering aimlessly in the streets. I was mentally preparing myself for it because I was seeing myself walking in it. I am so glad that God had other plans for me.
Feeling at my lowest, ready to accept defeat, God sent an angel my way. A homeless man walked by and asked me why was I sitting on the ground crying. Initially, I was suspecting that he was trying to set me up to rob me and I told myself that I would fight with everything in me because I had nothing else to lose. I looked at him and said I missed my bus and he told me that I can have my ticket changed and pointed me in the direction to go. I thanked him, wiped the tears from my face and got my bags and mustered up the energy to go to where he pointed and I found myself thanking God too.
17 years ago, I took a huge leap of faith, leaving behind everything I knew -- my mom, my step dad, my friends, my stomping ground -- EVERYTHING except what was in my luggage bags. I got my ticket changed and I finally felt that I had some hope again. I stopped seeing myself as being homeless and then fear of the unknown came back. It was a scary thing taking a leap of faith to move to a town where I knew nobody, didn't have any roots or any connections. I was venturing out into unfamiliar territory. I didn't know how I would survive or where I would live but I took the leap of faith anyway!!!
I arrived in NC and by the grace of God and have not looked back. Being an outsider, I chose to hide my gifts and talents because I didn't want to bring attention to myself or stand out. I was in a new place and slowly discovering a new me but it was filled with uncertainty. I was unsuspecting of what I would do or what I would become but I knew that I was no longer in that place of failure. I took a leap of faith and God made a way out of no way for me. I am no longer a slave to fear!!! My gifts made room for me and I am grateful for my journey. I have learned to be patient, resilient, persistent, silent, bold, humble and focused. I can't let the "nay sayers" have any say so in my life!
So to those of you who are reading this... you who never quite fit in, always behind the scenes promoting everyone else, you who hide all your true gifts and talents, you who tries to be normal but are set apart. You who are gifted and chosen for the journey. You have to see the best in you and you will find that others will follow suit. The first action to create change is to make the decision not to stay there. Take a leap of faith and walk into your destiny!!!